Friday, October 23, 2009

How kinky is kinky?

I always find it interesting to talk to different people and find that something I consider pretty standard is "kinky" to them, and an activity/position/etc. that's everyday for them is unusual to me. For example, I have friends who regularly practice anal sex, but she won't swallow during a blow job. To me, very strange. To them, normal.

I'd put the following list of activities in "tier three" - tier one being very vanilla sex, tier two being the standard array of activities (multiple positions, oral sex, etc), and tier three being the next level ("kinky" by many standards). Rate (or rank, or re-order) the following from "kinkiest" to "least kinky", by any definition you adhere to:

Analingus ("rimming")
Cum swallowing
Anal play (fingers or toys)
Cum swapping ("snowballing")
Pussy-to-mouth sex
Action photography
Group play (3-6 participants)
Non-heterosexual contact
Light (no lasting pain) bondage play

Feel free to note if these activities are common for you, or occasional, and whether you give or receive (if applicable). Also feel free to note any other activities you think fit in my fairly arbitrary tier system (or let me know if you think it's totally off base). Be as specific or general as you like, and as anonymous or open as you like. This is all for my own curiosity/gratification - I look forward to your responses!

(For those curious, my "fourth tier" would involved what I consider to be more extreme sexual activities, including Master/Slave situations, fisting, piss sex, more extreme BDSM, etc. If anything above belongs in the third tier, or vise versa, voice that as well!)


  1. I would put snowballing in Tier 4, and move fisting to Tier 3.

    For me all oral/genital activities are tier 2, including swallowing.

    What is action photography? is that something more than just catching the action on film?

    So you're list for me would go least to most:

    (tied) cum swallowing, pussy to mouth sex
    (tied) action photography & bondage - plus spanking anf fisting (which is just more digital contact imo.)
    (tied) group play and non-heterosexual contact
    (tied) anal play and rimming - only because finding a partner where it isn't an awkward conversation is usually harder than the previous items.

    Also, I'm not sure it's "kinky" but non-condom play feels like it should fit into this range of "adventures" as well.

    -Soaked in Sin.

  2. We can thank Gmail's filters for the fact that I'm just seeing this reply today...

    Non-condom play is totally kinky, but it's a little different because it's so circumstantial - with a new/swing partner, non-condom sex is level 4 for me (and dangerous), but with the same people and same cum, I'd put oral at level 2 or 3, and body shots at level 1. With monogamous or trusted partners, non-condom play generally loses a lot of the kink (though there's still quite a bit of kink for me and the wife there, for a few reasons).

    I define "action" photography as pictures of sex (solo, two partner, or more), instead of a lot of porn (especially amateur) which is just "posing".

    I like your list, and love that people like us who are generally on the same page about sex have such different ideas.

  3. Boo. Non-hetero sex is not kinky for those that enjoy it. Orientation should not be a part of this, unless the person involved is going against what they usually do.

  4. I'd say non-hetero sex is not kinky for those who are aren't hetero - there are plenty of things I enjoy that I still consider kinky. Perhaps "non-preferred" is a better way to put. I was just listing things I consider kinky from my own perspective.