Wednesday, April 7, 2010

What do you do with your "bad" fantasies?

Like everyone, I've got a lot of sexual fantasies. This comes from thinking about sex a lot, and working things out in my head to see if they get me going. Most are of the type that I'd eventually like to try (and many I have) - specific partners, group activities, specific kinks. But there are others that I doubt will ever become reality for me, and others that really shouldn't be realized, either legally or ethically.

I'm sure you've got some like that too - what do you do with them?

I have varying degrees of "bad" fantasies. They're generally not "bad" for moral reasons, but only because they can invoke some uncomfortableness for those involved (or just associated). Some are odd or kinky or just very unlikely - on-stage gang bang, fucking my exes, holding relationships with two sisters (or a woman and her mother) at the same time, etc. Others are more taboo, but still worth thinking about - fucking two sisters at the same time, non-consensual voyeurism, public sex in front of non-interested parties, stuff like that.

Some are "worse" still. I don't tend toward violent stuff at all, but I do find myself thinking about things society, even sex-positive folks, would frown upon.

I've noticed in my many years as a sexual being, and with many years of Internet surfing under my belt, it takes a lot to shock me anymore. While I'm still turned on by a nice pair of breasts or "vanilla" sex acts, my fantasies have evolved and grown and ventured into new territory now that the standard stuff is, well, standard.

I don't "embrace" all my fantasies - I know a lot of them are unhealthy and not worth pursuing in real life. But I don't stop myself from enjoying them in the moment, especially when that "moment" is entirely in my head, or in a shared fantasy conversation. I can appreciate the absurdly kinky or non-consensual without thinking it's "right" or "good", and since I don't obsess over any of them, and I'm fully aware of both the law and what's the "right thing to do", I know what lines can't be crossed.

Your thoughts? Do you have fantasies you try not to think about? Do your own thoughts freak you out? When you find yourself turned on, do you allow the thoughts to come to light, or chase them away?

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