Monday, November 29, 2010

Libido MIA

A very strange thing has been happening to me in the last couple months, and I'm not sure of the cause. Plainly put, my libido - my actual drive to do sexy things - is mostly gone.

Truly, a sad state of affairs.

As a sexually active and open male of the species, I think my general level of arousal is pretty close to normal. I can enjoy an orgasm daily, and would occasionally have a couple (morning and night, typically). Since my drive has always been higher than the wife's, I masturbate on average 4-6 times a week, sometimes more, and prefer long (30-60 minute) sessions (usually with an online component, and almost always with porn involved). While I don't obsessively think about it, attractive women that I run across during my day are usually enough to get me going for the rest of the afternoon and evening.

From what I can tell, it started around the time of my Halloween sexy party. While I was quite looking forward to it, I wasn't particularly horny about it - I was looking forward to seeing some new friends for the first time in this setting, but otherwise, my arousal level leading up was pretty normal.

Since then, however, my drive's been pretty low. I'm losing interest in masturbation. Sex is still fun, but the everyday interactions I have with attractive women and potentially arousing situations don't set me up for it anymore. My regular chat hangouts for erotic one-offs are frankly boring, and the prospect of searching for new ones isn't particularly appealing. And while I always look forward to solo hotel trips (like Vegas, etc.) for the availability of no-interruption, free-form masturbation (have kids, you'll see why these are suddenly a nice luxury), my upcoming trip isn't calling to me.

What the hell happened?

I've had slowdowns before, but nothing like this one. I'm not stressed - stress, in general, has never been a limiting factor for me in the past. My wife is still smokin' hot, and our sex has been better in the past year than it's been in a long time. The sex and masturbation I've had are both fine, it's just the "typical horny guy" aspect of my life is waining. I'm not seeing sex in every aspect of my life, like has been the norm since I was about 12. There is one redeeming factor - I seem to have more time and less errant thoughts, allowing me to focus on things. But I miss the other focus, too.

Your thoughts, questions, comments and suggestions are welcome. Should I actively seek to reclaim my teenager level of horniness? Should I welcome the free time and focus for other pursuits? More frequent masturbation has always brought me back up to speed in the past, but this time I'm lacking in scenarios that I find worth my time. I hate to think I've seen so much porn that it's all boring. What would you do?


  1. Was it really around the sexy party time that you noticed a decline? What about the God party? I wonder if it has anything to do with you wearing a giant penis. You're suddenly not playing suggestively anymore.

  2. I've been dissatified with my masturbation habits for several months now - porm and one-off chat really isn't doing it for me like it used to. But I first noticed my libido drop off after the sexy and halloween parties, when I no longer had guests/parties/planning on my mind.